The sun used to rise with me, but there were days when I didn't even see the sun light. Now, I sit here in this garden. As always being very specific
about my seat, I chose a bench that gave me the least view of humans, because
I am myself disturbed and I am in no mood to see more around me. In the garden, I see an open piece of land between checkered slabs,
planted with saplings which are supposed to catch up quickly in this season. And
to my shock most of them are dried, with dropped leaves and drooped branches, lifeless and ready to be plucked out and replaced. A few though, are vibrant with
life and full of energy, probably, by draining others’ of their assets. Oh, yes, the corporate
culture.
If a bunch of strangers are made to have lunch together for a few years, they may end up either friends or enemies. But if a bunch of professionals are
put in the same situation, they end up with a relation that is a little more than anonymity and a lot less than familiarity. Here, we can make very few friends and lose many more. Yes, I have experienced. There will be a variety of awkward situations, one ends up saying thanks to the same person he/she said sorry a few minutes ago, smiling at the same person one shouted on the previous day, and an eternal cold war. Even after having Corporate Culture's rules and manners neatly scraped everywhere in the office campus, I see people who use the time during meetings more effectively by browsing what lingers in their mouths post-lunch and picking noses, of course their own. The first half of the corporate life goes in understanding what is expected of you and the second half goes in digesting the same.
Life was different back
then, when I was not a part of this so called culture. The thoughts in my mind ran like
this.
In spite of having a cell phone and novel always in my
hands, I still had place to hold an ice cream on the way back home from college. Now I have
both my hands free but no energy. I used to love rain, but not now. Because the
only way I can enjoy it now, is through a glass window. I am brought into an understanding that I will
be no more in a presentable way now here, if I enjoy rain in my own way.
I feel every job on the way to my present-destination seems more
than right for me. I see in people’s eyes the love for their job. A gardener cuts grass with utmost care, a soldier
loves a country more than himself, a doctor cares for others’ life just like
his own, a salesman explains the beauty of the product, making people realize having
it would be a wonderful feeling.
I see many stars in my office, many more stars than one can see in the sky. Here is how it happens, the
always-on lights on the ceiling of the office gets reflected in the few
fortunate glass-panes which are unveiled of their shutters.
Everyone thinks, I am waiting to cross the road, but actually
I want to cross the road, break the rules, change the juvenile society, climb
the ladder and reach out to the sky, the sky with actual stars.
The mosquitoes remind me of the dirt I can write about, the
crowd reminds of population, the traffic about pollution, huge buildings about
so-called development, but here I am surrounded by things about which I can
only rant about, but not write.
