The One that got away - Part 1

Like all other days I woke up to my alarm, but instead of thanking God I was cursing my boss for yesterday's new project. As I crawled out of my bed, I realized my day has started off with the thought of the wrong person. I brushed my teeth still wondering why my boss had made me the supervisor of that project.

It was perfect, I smiled, looking in the mirror at the room behind me! Oh, it's such a relief to see everything properly assorted as per their need and size, transforming the modest apartment into a spacious room. And then I suddenly found it; a toy bunny hanging on the wall behind me. It was gifted by my ex-boyfriend. Period. 

I hurriedly rushed out of the house for my office and threw the newspaper at the doorstep, inside. It took me more effort than usual to throw it in, least bothered I moved on. It was on the way to office that I realized it was Valentine's Day. The enthusiastic din on the roads and red hues everywhere gave me the hint. I took out my cell phone to wish my girlfriends. Oops, messages and calls have already poured in. Replying to them, I got into my bus. The familiar bus conductor chuckled and gave me a ticket, I tucked it into my wallet. 

At office, everyone seemed as usual, expect for a few happy faces. The mailman approached me wishing and handed a few letters addressed to me. None were in red. Indifferently, I moved to my desk. I was invited for a party at a friend's place. It is a party for the happy people both single and committed, who either felt destined to be a couple or blessed to be single. But for us friends, Valentine’s Day was just another reason to meet. Or maybe my friends wanted to shower some love on me; especially today when love is everywhere else except around me.

I was almost the last member to leave the office, as everyone had their plans for the V-Day. I started directly for the party since I was dressed presentably, both for the office and also for the party. I was glad that I finally put to use the make-up kit that was lay in my bag for eons. My friend’s place was only a few streets across my office, so I decided to take a walk. It was a bright evening.

When I was just a street away from my destination, I came across a familiar face. It was of my ex-boyfriend. Ex would be the last person a girl would want to bump into on Valentine’s Day. Everything around me came to a stop;  for a moment I didn't understand what was going on. He was the first to see me, to gain his conscience and to greet. I knew he felt exactly what I've felt. The only difference is that he recovered, well at least, before me. We exchanged pleasantries, not like exes with compassion or friends in love or colleagues with grudge. There was nothing like it to describe or compare, so was our relationship.  

We talked. Well, he talked and all I did was simply nodding, faking smile, carelessly shrugging my shoulders and yet grasping every word even in that dizzy situation. While he was talking, my eyes were wide open trying to catch every hint or speck of a hint he was wanting me to know. After few minutes he realized there was nothing more to talk, which I gathered the second we broke up. It was not the lack of topics, but an acknowledgement that any further talk can take us and the time, back to when we were together. I was searching frantically for a reason to confront my heart and move along, but I ended up smiling as there was no need for a reason; either to smile or to walk away. I should have popped off that very moment before the volley of negative inklings hit me. Answering my uneasiness, a gold-plated silver ring on his ring finger said a hello and the next second my eyes zoomed in on the bunch of red roses in his hand. 

Turning away, I called for a cab.

Mary Kom - The Trailer

The much awaited trailer of Mary Kom was officially released today. True to its brief description on Youtube, Powerful is the only word that comes to mind. Being a feminist and a fan of both Mary Kom and PC, I would obviously like the trailer much more than how much Salman Khan fans loved the entire movie of "Bodyguard" and its always-in-my-nightmares climax. 

The video starts off with Mary Kom getting knocked off in the ring, as she is falling she takes a trip down the memory lane. And I am sure that she rises back to her feet with a striking blow, says not me but the visibly promising young Mary. It is delight to see a female athlete enter into a men's arena without the need to pretend or disguise. In the trailer, Mary says at a point to her male friend, "Don't worry, tum mere sath safe hai" and another time "Mere hath ka khake deko". As a fan, I loved the way Priyanka Chopra delivered both the dialogs and as a woman, I loved the chirpiness and truth in these dialogs. 

In the video, Mary Kom corrected her father's pronunciation, like all other girls. Few tease, few teach, few explain, few laugh at their dads, but what matters is that they are daughters. During the course of the trailer, she marries and later becomes a mother. As it is said, "Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great". Likewise, her absence from boxing for a few years only ignited the passion in her. As a mother she emerges out with much more energy and strength, it is this part of promo which gives you goosebumps.

Like Indian government which honors most of the Indian heroes posthumously, it seemed until a few years ago that Bollywood also was inclined towards the same thought. But well, the trend is changing for better. Coming to my expectations from the movie, what I am waiting to see is the climax of the movie, how would it end? May be by winning many more medals, reaching to No. 1 position in the sport or to emerge as a role model for women in the country or may be change the stereotype of Brain Vs Brawn to Brain + Brawn. 

What knocked off my socks is the background song that fades in the aura of Priyanka Chopra. Of all the adjectives used until now to define a dil/heart, like bacha, deewana, pagal, cheez, badtameez, I liked ziddi. It gives me a hope. I would undoubtedly call mine as one.

Breaking up with the writer's block!

Dear Writer's Block,

I think we need to talk. Its not you, its me. I have to move on, I am stuck just as you are, Block. I decided to talk to you face to face about this, but as a writer I can express better in writing and also it helps me shoo you away. There have been days in my life when you not even existed, those short happy productive days. But with you, the days are long enough to make me sleepy, the nights only caused a migraine, the thoughts were shallow and the confidence nil. With you, it is like an end to my uninitiated writing career.   

I may not write all day every day, but I do write. Earlier, I was confident that I could write about anything, crisp or elaborate, fiction or non-fiction, well or worse, sane or Bollywood movie scripts, promote or criticize. But now, the best I could do is write a long Facebook status. I hardly remember the last post on my blog. Yes, I do have a blog, which you are not aware of or may be you are. You are that clingy sticky stain exactly the opposite of the Surf-Excel stain. 

I would be never feel lonely even when I am single, because my thoughts are always with me, because they understand me and I understand them. You were censoring my thoughts leaving nothing sensible to scribble on a paper. Yet with all the patience and peace, I would reach for a pen and paper only to scratch it across. Few days later, I stopped even attempts to write. 

And I can go on and on about the issues I have faced when you were around. The longer this post the better will be my break-up with you. So, here it is Good Bye, Mr.Block! 

For the Love of Writing, don't come back into my life again!!